Tricked! (Warning: an honest discussion of underpants may include material that is offensive to some. Please read with care).

I have recently grown quite fond of colored underwear. Having worn white briefs all my life, I thought I should do something different, especially because they are frequently on display. That's right! Ever since I joined my Masters Swim Club, changing in a locker room is a necessity and thus my undergarments are silently evaluated from time to time. (Brings back bad high school memories, doesn't it?) And, for me, the "tighty-whities" are vaguely embarrassing but colored underwear is very cool, and I found a very acceptable variety pack at the local Target store (featuring various blue, grey, and black options) and I purchased them. I am sure my swim-mates were quietly impressed.

Meanwhile, some of my older "tighty-whities" were getting worse-for-wear and I was "retiring" them regularly. Eventually, my underwear supplies got so low that I was running out of clean skivvies before the week-end laundry could refresh them. So, obviously, I need new ones and if I got new ones, I was going to get even more colored ones.

So, I trustingly went back to Target and found the underwear section, which was, thankfully, full of underpants but free of people. I began to inspect the various wears. Great to my surprise, they did not have my colored briefs in stock. Oh, no! What was I going to get? I need to say here that I am not a fan of boxers. There is a lot of unofficial PR trying to make boxers very cool but I don't support the "boxer" option because, frankly, they don't support me. Now there are some hybrids, boxer briefs, for example, but those are just too weird and what's the point! Then my eye caught a new product I had never seen before - Sporting Briefs. This was promising! They were colored, and, although I'm no superstar, I think I deserve an underpant that matches my active lifestyle. So, I bought them and brought them into my home.

A few days later, it was time to break open this new purchase. I chose one with a fancy blue checker-board design and put them on. I immediately sensed something was wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it at first. They were comfortable. They were supportive. They fit. Then I noticed! There was no fly! Was this going to be a problem? I don't know about you other gentlemen, but I don't really use the fly on my underpants, ever, but I was used to always having that as an option, should some special occasion arise. Reluctantly, I decided I could live with out the fly.

Next, I noticed that these Sporting Briefs were cut very high on the sides (like a Speedo swimsuit). Of course, these were obviously underpants for very active people, like me, and they needed to have a certain freedom of movement in the hip area. So, I guess that was OK.

As I was considering these various new developments, my wife walked in on me. "Wow," she said, "you bought panties!" Yes! It was true! It all added up now - colorful patterns, no fly, a "V" cut design- I had been tricked into buying male panties! Oh! The humiliation!

After the initial shock wore off, I grew to accept my feminized underpants. And I think my locker-room friends have too, because they haven't said a thing, at least not to my face.

Symbiotic Farming

Did any of you think about where your lunch came from?

Maybe your first thought is McDonalds, Subway, Taco Bell, Chick-Fil-A, Pizza Hut, or wherever you happen to be dining this afternoon. But where did those ingredients come from? Where were the animals raised? Where did the plants grow? Where were the minerals dug up?

Questions like this led Berkeley Professor, Michael Pollan, to write "The Omnivore's Dilemma." This is a fascinating book that explores the origins of four different meals. I heartily recommend it.

For me, the most interesting part of the book was the discussion of Polyface Farms. Polyface Farms is so organic that it calls itself "Beyond Organic" to distinguish itself from what might be called "Industrial Organic." They only sell their fresh meat, eggs, and other products to individuals and restaurants within 100 miles of their farm in Virginia. Many of the best local restaurants swear by the produce of Polyface Farms and feature them explicitly on the menu.

What makes Polyface Farms so fascinating is the symbiotic systems the farmer uses to manage a complicated but mutually beneficial relationship between different animals and the land. The farmer calls these HOLONS from the Greek word "holos" meaning a "self-contained whole." I'd like to share with you three of the holons from Polyface Farms.

Holon #1: The farmer puts up a portable electric fence around an acre of pastureland and releases the cows for just one day. The cows eat the lush grass and, of course, leave behind lots of cow patties. The next day they are moved to a new acre of land where fresh grass awaits them. Meanwhile, back on the original acre, exactly three days later a portable chicken coop is wheeled up and these truly free range chickens are released to eat bugs. But their very favorite is the nutritious fly larvae that are rapidly developing in the cow patties. Remember, they are also spreading around their nitrogen rich chicken manure over that same acre of pastureland. With a serving of cow manure and a helping of chicken manure, perhaps it is the pastureland that is getting the best meal of all! The whole cycle moves from acre to acre until the whole area is covered, the cows are fat (grass-fed), and the chickens produce eggs so nutritious that there yolks are carrot-colored.

Holon #2: In the winter the cows need to be indoors, in a barn. The farmer lays down a layer of sawdust on the ground. Of course, the cows do their thing and pretty soon the floor is a layer of organic muck. The farmer adds another layer of sawdust and a new secret ingredient - handfuls of corn. Layer after layer, this matting builds up. By the end of the winter, when the cows are released back to the pasture, it can be three feet thick. Then the pigs are let into the barn. Now, keep in mind that this manure and sawdust mixture generates lots of organic heat which ferments the corn embedded in it. Well, if there's anything a pig loves it's alcoholic corn! They begin to root round that barn like mad porcine plows and soon that barn floor is churned into the most incredible compost you have ever seen. This is then placed on the corn field and elsewhere. This holon gives you warm cows, happy pigs, and tall corn.

Holon #3: Rabbits are cute and fuzzy but their pee is toxic. In fact, the ammonia in it is so strong it can scar their own lungs if they are trapped in cages above. There are three stories in this holon. The rabbits live above and the chickens live below, all on a layer of dirt and wood chips which is full of earthworms. The chickens love earthworms and vigorously dig around the wood-chip mixture to find them. This action somehow transforms the toxic rabbit pee (and droppings) into a powerful carbonaceous bedding that the worms thrive in. The chickens are fed. The rabbits are protected. And, the worms are happy (at least until they are unceremoniously plucked from the muck).

Polyface Farms is an interesting place: local produce, completely organic, and animals doing the things that come very naturally to them. I don't know about you, but I think this is the way farming should be done.

3 Things You Should Know About Beethoven

There is no surprise that Ludwig Van Beethoven (1770-1827) is considered to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest, composer of all time. He certainly deserves it. His music still sounds fresh and interesting 200 years later and it's important we understand why.

Fact #1: Beethoven was a motivic composer. This means he would take a small and seemingly ordinary little note pattern (a motive or motif) and create a whole movement (or even a whole symphony) out of that one little idea. By repeating it, expanding it, condensing it, layering it, breaking it, transforming it, turning it upside down, inside out, backwards, etc, Beethoven would create something that was unified and diverse at the same time. One commentator rightly compared it to a mosaic - a beautiful image that is created from similar little chunks of tile. For example, his Fifth Symphony is built on that famous "Da-da-da-dum" motive at the beginning. Such creative genius won him instant recognition which leads us to our next point.

Fact #2: Beethoven was instantly popular, at least as a musician. He was notoriously rude, ill-mannered, and egotistical but the musical elite of Vienna still loved him. This translated to sponsorship. Many struggling musicians must compose pieces for other purposes such as dance music, church music, or requiems for the dead. (For example, Mozart never had a permanent commission). But Beethoven was free to compose as he wished. This leads to our next point.

Fact #3: Beethoven's music was self-expression. Essentially free from financial constraints, Beethoven created a music that was, above all, a unique expression of what was going on in his heart. He had a difficult childhood which included an abusive father. In fact, Beethoven fantasized for years that he was, instead, the illegitimate offspring of a Prussian king. As noted, he had very few social graces and his homes were veritable pig-styes. He was not handsome and did not care about his grooming, hence the now iconic wild hair. But the greatest challenge was his growing deafness. This considerable handicap haunted him and caused him to avoid people even more. Disturbed and isolated, music became Beethoven's therapy, if you will. Indeed, in his music I think you can hear the anger, the sadness, the struggle, the courage, the hope, the triumph, and more. A lesser man might have caved-in, but Beethoven overcame his many challenges, channelled that angst, and forged a body of work like no other.

There is much more to this celebrated composer but these simple observations will begin to help you understand why his music was so unique, innovative, and inspirational. I sense that Mozart is like a fine wine: smooth, refined, appropriate for all occasions. But Beethoven is more like hard liquor: fascinating, often harsh, with a much bigger kick. It's true he stands, historically, between the High Classical style of Mozart and Haydn, and the Romanticism of Mendelssohn, Chopin, and Brahms, but, truly, . . . he stands alone.