Monday, March 26, 2007


I hate to see fake women. I'm to the point where I get turned off by obviously "enhanced" ladies. They might look nice by some societal standard but I am so conscious that they are not real. To me, it's a turn-off. To me, it's like cheating.

Let's say that a young lady gets a lot of plastic surgery - nose job, bust augmentation, maybe a tummy tuck or a butt lift. She attracts a guy. They get married and have kids. Will her daughter inherit that attractiveness? No way! It's like false advertising.

Further, I am against the forces in our society that encourage women to focus on the outside. Why is it that so many women only feel "pretty", womanly, or valued if she conforms to some unrealistic "Hollywood" image? Actually, I just saw a TV show in which a psychologist said that women who have surgery do have greater self-esteem. Is that because they feel valued because the conform to that phantom image?

I'm all for plastic surgery for those with deformities. It can make the difference between someone being an outcast and useless to society and being a productive member of their community. This is not a case of vanity.

Now, despite my negative attitude, I'm not against make up. Someone could argue that that make up is an enhancement. Why am I not against that? Also, as you can see in my photo, I am losing my hair. I hate this. I feel unattractive, less manly, and older. I've often said that if I had the money I would buy "hair". Why is it OK for me to buy hair and a woman not to buy a big bust? Am I a hypocrite? Is there a difference between make-up, hair extensions, plastic nails, girdles, shaving, perms, and that ordinary kind of stuff and major surgery like nose jobs, breast augmentation, liposuction, teeth-whitening and the like? I think so.

What do you think?


Austin Explorer said...

Hey Dunc. Who loves ya baby? :-) Interesting topic!

I think we have many ways to "look good" to both ourselves and others, and I do believe that it's helpful if we can feel good about the way we look, because we'll project that satisfaction (or lack thereof). I currently want to discard a number of excess pounds!

How we dress, groom ourselves, take care of our bodies are all indicators of how we feel about ourselves as well as the priority we place on looking good for others. (eg. "Thanks for cutting that nose hair, Bob!") Sometimes we use or focus on one of these outward expressions to compensate for shortcomings in other areas.

As far as hair goes (no pun intended), I'd say that some guys look better bald than others. Fit, muscular guys seem to pull it off well. It goes without saying (but I'll state it nonetheless) that great looks and money don't automatically provide happiness or inner peace.

Lastly, I'm not sure men marry attractive women with the main goal of producing better-than-average-looking children. My cousin got a nose-job years ago and I don't remember her two boys having bird-beak noses like she had. As with many things in life, children are kind of a crap shoot.

Duncan Parlett said...

Good points, Joe! I wanted to do an analysis of what efforts at improving looks were "OK" in my opinion and which were not, but the article was getting too long. I think it has to do with what standard one is trying to achieve. I am fine with a deformed person being brought up to a low but acceptable standard. I am fine with a woman using make up to just bring herself to a normal standard (for our society) Even on men buying hair, this is not bringing them up to an abnormal standard but recapturing their former hair style. But I am against women buying un-natural supper large, un-naturally round breasts. They are going beyond a normal standard. That's why I'm against it. Does that make sense?

On being bald: Another thing that really makes a bald man look better is a tan! I notice tan bald guys look good. I am not sure why.

On attractive kids: Producing attractive kids may not be the main goal but it is something that one wants, hopefully. I agree that the way a kid turns out gentically is uncertain.

ThebestmeIcanbe said...


I'm writing this whilst ingesting my morning coffee, so if my ramblings are slightly incoherent, please forgive me.

I'm thrilled to hear someone thinking about this issue. I've fought against it for a very long time (I've not worn make-up for more than 10 years), but lately it plagues me. My daughter is asking questions & I find it difficult to answer truthfully without critiiczing harshly, most of the world around me.

So far the best answer I can come up with for her is people wear make-up to be more unfortunate they think they're not beautiful enough & how sad to think they have to be beautiful & how funny they think THAT's beautiful. We then talk about sunsets & smiles etc.

Speaking of smiles, oh how I'd love to whiten my teeth, but then I'd have to enhance my lips. If I did that, my eyes would get lost so I'd have to.....

The short answer IMHO to is there a difference (between major surgery & fluff) is no. The motivation is the same. To be more attractive for greater self-esteem. We've been conditioned by our society (this is not a new concept) regarding what's attractive & to a great degree by nature as well (I usually agree wholeheartedly with Mother Nature, but alas, not here) & told that we must be attractive...or...????

Frankly, I no longer find mascara covered lashes appealing or coloured lips any more than the casaba melon enhancement (I do find it hilarious that you referred to supper instead of super regarding such augmentation...oops).

These issues have been haunting me more than ever as since I've now had a child, my once perky girls now belong in National Geographic.

I also remove the hair from my legs & armpits & that's as fake as I get, but I certainly do struggle with the question of hypocracy & I've gone with, yes I'm a hypocrite & I have to forgive myself that just as I must forgive & then appreciate my body as it is.

Don't worry about your hair Dunk - you're a good looking guy - if that kind of thing is important to you.

Duncan Parlett said...

Dear Bestmeicanbe,

Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I admire your determined resistance to the prevailing norms. There is great presure, especially on women, to be attractive. How wonderful it would be if our society could begin to value things like character more highly.

I did not put this in the article but I think there is a fuzzy dividing line between typical or normal enhancements, such as make-up, and super (not supper) enhancements such as liposuction or breast augmentation. The dividing line is simple whether the enhancement brings up to "normal" or beyond normal. So, surgery that brings a deformed person to a somewhat normal standard is good and acceptable. A woman who wears a typical amount of make up is acceptable. A woman that has multiple surgeries to make them look like the unrealistic standard of a supermodel has gone too far. I agree this is a fuzzy line. If you have to look like a supermodel to feel good about yourself then this probably indicates a deep underlying insecurity and lack of self-esteem. And, the great wisdom my many years have given me says that the saying "Beauty is only skin deep" is true. Great beauty may make a good first impression but bad character is a big turn-off. A mature person is attracted to the whole person not just one feature or attribute.